Dating a quiet person
We are very good listeners, good at drawing people out, enjoy substantive conversation.
We don't chitchat very well, but we love to converse, which makes for a good date." Since introverts can be slow to warm up to new people, Dembling suggests they often have luck building relationships off group activities (a class or book club) or shared locations (a favorite coffee shop).
For it she interviewed more than 50 introverts — single and looking, in relationships with extroverts and other introverts, newlyweds and divorcees — and what she found complicates our typical assumptions about introverts..
But while it's easy to assume that introverts would have a harder time dating than extroverts, the reality may surprise you..When I plunged into the dating scene after getting out of a long-term relationship, my immediate inclination was to "play" extrovert by setting up numerous dates in a week, to give everyone a chance, to give those I was on the fence about a second chance, and to stay out well past my bedtime, even if I felt like I was losing steam.It took only a few weeks of this before I realized that dating was taking its toll and that I was becoming bad at it — failing to respond to texts and messages in a timely manner, rushing through dates with people I felt little connection with and, eventually finding myself leaving all of my dates with a nagging desire for the solace of my quiet apartment.That was when I realized that I was doing it all wrong, that I was tapping out and turning inward because I was jogging at an extrovert’s pace, even though I'm an introvert.So I reassessed my dating approach to better align with my energy levels and need for depth over breadth.